Malliswari (2004)

I know it's become very fashionable these days to say that Katrina Kaif wasn't "that bad" an actor, and that we unfairly treated her, etc etc. While I am firmly against merciless trolling, especially when it's directed against someone who hasn't done anything that causes actual harm to anyone else (literally, all a woman has to do is exist in order to be bullied and trolled by incels and pick-mes everywhere), I refuse to believe that Katrina Kaif is a good actor. Just, no. Throughout this movie, I kept on wondering how amazing it would have been if they had cast someone decent alongside Venky (my love), someone who could match his level of talent and create magic on screen. Since Kat's character was a little reminiscent of Nandu from Nuvvu Naaku Naachav (2001), I thought Aarthi Agarwal would have been a better choice. But then, I remembered the sizzling chemistry between Venky and Mahesh Babu in Seethamma Vakitlo Sirimalle Chettu (2013), and since Mahesh is already called "Prince", it would have been SUCH A PERFECT MATCH OH MY GOD DIE ALREADY HETERONORMATIVITY! I mean, can you even imagine? I don't want to sound melodramatic, but had the vintage Trivikram romcom with Venky, Mahesh and Sunil happened, we would have achieved world peace by now.

Can I just take a moment to appreciate that I live in a world where subtitles exist, and I can fangirl over Venkatesh, who is so exceptionally good at playing the awkward idiot/loser guy? Most actors just can't pull it off, their vanity gets in the way. But Venky is one of us. He gets it #justmiddlechildthings. The scenes with his family and at his office were ICONIC. And the two monologues that he delivers while threatening Bhavani Shankar (Kota Srinivisa Rao) were priceless. I will probably end up memorising them at some point in life. As for him and Sunil, I have nothing else to say that they complement each other so beautifully, it's hard to imagine those scenes with anyone else except these two. A prime example for this is the funeral scene. 

This movie also made me have the realisation that I always crave coffee while watching Telugu films, because they're constantly mentioning it. This bond goes deeper than I initially thought. Me and TFI, I mean, not me and coffee (ugh now I want coffee again) or TFI and coffee (I learnt the word 'tisko' because of coffee lelz). 

If there's one thing that this movie proves, it's Trivikram's raging homosexuality. Not that we needed more proof, but still. Did he need to make so many jokes about Venky's underwear? No. Did he make them anyway? Yes. Also, Venky said no to casteism. That's all one needs to know honestly. And that the 'Gundello Gulabhi' song is such a bop, I have been jamming to it since morning. Chai chaka chai chaka chai chaka chai MALLEEESWARIIII. That's all. Bye,

PS- it's my sincere request to Kat apologists to please start watching movies featuring good actresses. Jk, you do you boo. We live in a supposedly free world, let's make the most of it while we can.


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