one time wanderer

I think I have a huge crush on Venkatesh. No, I know that I have a huge crush on Venkatesh, which has been developing ever since I saw him for the first time in Kshana Kshanam (1991), in which his very first scene was iconic. He is, after all, Coolie No. 1- only he and Queen Tabu could have made that movie so memorable for me, and that's why I NEED THEM TO DO ANOTHER MOVIE REAL QUICK ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME ANYMORE UNIVERSE PLEASE MAKE IT HAPPEN.  Okay, I'm calm again. Anyway. For a few weeks now, I have been telling anyone who'll listen that Venkatesh is my favourite Telugu actor, but now, I think he deserves to be called one of my favourite actors EVER. From his impeccable comic timing, to the way he moves me with his emotional speeches, it's all so special and amazing, and I don't think I am getting over him and his talent anytime soon. Which is also a toned down version of how I feel about Tabu, and MY GOD HOW IS IT FAIR THAT TWO OF THE MOST GIFTED ACTORS I

I know it's become very fashionable these days to say that Katrina Kaif wasn't "that bad" an actor, and that we unfairly treated her, etc etc. While I am firmly against merciless trolling, especially when it's directed against someone who hasn't done anything that causes actual harm to anyone else (literally, all a woman has to do is exist in order to be bullied and trolled by incels and pick-mes everywhere), I refuse to believe that Katrina Kaif is a good actor. Just, no. Throughout this movie, I kept on wondering how amazing it would have been if they had cast someone decent alongside Venky (my love), someone who could match his level of talent and create magic on screen. Since Kat's character was a little reminiscent of Nandu from Nuvvu Naaku Naachav (2001), I thought Aarthi Agarwal would have been a better choice. But then, I remembered the sizzling chemistry between Venky and Mahesh Babu in Seethamma Vakitlo Sirimalle Chettu (2013), and since Mahesh i

My favourite part of this movie was the fact that Mahesh Babu became a 1000x better actor every time he had a scene with Venkatesh. Doubtu ledu. Also, the chemistry between the lead pair (Venky and Mahesh, duh) was extraordinary- I mean, they legit had sexual tension after a scene in which they talked on the phone while in two different cities. How many of your OTPs can lay claim to that, huh? Huh? Thought so. My least favourite part of the movie? The cringemax Venky-Seetha dynamics ugh. Also the fact that whoever wrote the dialogues has clearly never talked to a real woman before in his life. The way they did disservice to Sam here was infuriating, especially when she fully has the capability to out-act Mahesh. Just fucking smash patriarchy already. And heteronormativity, because what we need right now is a movie where Venky and MB are full-fledged lovers. I know you wanna, Trivikram. I know  you wanna . This movie contains a song that is basically the Telugu version of Meghan Trainor

Oh, to see Kamal Haasan as an angry young man while I'm rotting away in my early 20s with barely suppressed rage and complete exasperation... plus all that poetry-induced nihilism.... plus all the softness of a romance... it's what dreams are made of in this disaster of a year.  To say this movie has aged well would be wrong, since it hasn't aged at all. Released in 1981, it has striking similarities to 2020- INC is going through leadership troubles, unemployment is at an all-time high, there is a severe hunger crisis underway in the country, people with higher education are finding it increasingly difficult to both get jobs and maintain self-respect, the entire process of getting a job feels like a cruel facade, the "are you a communist?" question is thrown angrily at youngsters who try to make sense of the situations they find themselves in, and of course, this mind-melting scene where Kamal Haasan predicted the Great Maharashtra Chief Minister Debacle of 2019: 

Drishyam more like Drish-yummmm. (Sorry, but I had to.) Also, trigger warning for police brutality in the movie. First of all, disclaimer: I have not seen the Malayalam original, or the Telugu and Tamil remakes. This was my first entry to the world of Drishyam, and inshallah, there will be many more, because I loved the story so much that I can't wait to watch the other versions too. Second of all, TABU IS QUEEN OF ACTING AND EVERYTHING ELSE AND NEEDS TO BE RECOGNISED FOR BEING SO UNFORGETTABLE AND INTERESTING AND TALENTED AND AMAZING. She is the best part of the movie, and I'm honestly a little upset that we never got a Drishyam version with her and my love, Victory Venkatesh. Khair, no use crying over spilt milk, especially because Ajay Devgn was amazing too, I am just biased because of my overflowing love for Tabs and Venky, and my desperation to see them in a movie together.  Okay, I promise I'm going to talk about the movie now. I think I said in my Andhadhun (2018) r

What better way to kickstart #HBDMegastarChiranjeevi celebrations than to finally hear Chiru's own voice in a movie? And what better movie to watch than one with the song 'Dayi Dayi Damma' which changed my life for many reasons, the most important being the realisation that KK is one of my favourite singers ever? (Don't ask me why it took me so long to realise this, but when he sang 'haaye haaye haaye', I felt it with my entire soul). Also, THE VEENA STEP. How is that humanly possible? HOW? Now, I would like to begin this formal articulation of my thoughts on this movie with the character I simped hardest for- Snehalatha Reddy (Aarthi Agarwal). My girl literally enquired about the legality of a woman claiming rights to ancestral property, way before the Supreme Court took notice of the issue (this is inspiring me to make a meme). The way she marched into Indrasena Reddy's house, and demanded his hand in marriage? And the way she didn't hesitate even for

This is the kind of feminism that the Hindi movie industry desperately needs. There's nothing preachy, nothing simplistic, and nothing reductive about the way this movie operates. Gunjan Saxena comes off as a refreshingly honest young woman- the script is uninhibited when it comes to sharing her moments of self-doubt, her flaws, and those traits that make her immensely relatable.  The star of the movie is Pankaj Tripathi. No second thoughts about that. The way he brings depth to each and every scene that he is in, the way he makes me wish he was my father, the way I want every dad in this country to say "Kaun badtameez tumhein yeh sikha raha hai?" every time his son says some weird shit, the way he is restrained in the way only a retired army man can be, the way he pushes his daughter like only a progressive Indian father can, the way he is everything that screams "National Award winner" to me.  Two other performances that I would like to applaud are Manav Vij a

The thing with this movie is that the first half is superb. There are genuinely terrifying moments, which make the prospect of going out of your room to get snacks seem like the most hideous idea possible. Urmila Matondkar delivers an extremely convincing performance, as a woman who gets sucked into that terrifying unknown commonly referred to as "being possessed". It's pitch perfect- you get to see her consciousness fraying at the edges, her moments of self-doubt, and finally, the void where she is only a sliver of an identity. It's a horrifying journey, and Urmi deserves all the awards and praise she got for this performance. However, the film itself starts fraying at the edges in the second half. The jump-scares are still there, but what's missing is the ghastly psychological reality of horror. The movie moves into a boring conventional territory, which would have been good on its own, but pales significantly when compared to the first half. In the effort of ex

Like I had suspected, Sridevi + Chiranjeevi is an elite pairing. Yes, my initial suspicion arose from the 'Abbanee Teeyani Debba' song from Jagadeka Veerudu Athiloka Sundari (1991), but can you even blame me? That song is so fucking iconic, and yet again, for the millionth time, I am salty that that movie doesn't have English subtitles anywhere.  Coming back to S.P. Parasuram though- so I technically saw the Hindi dubbed version, Azad Desh Ka Andha Kanoon , which made me realise that one of the biggest sources of comedy in my life has to be the titles of Hindi dubbed versions of Telugu movies. The movie was good enough, for a typical 90s excursion, and is definitely made better because of the Chiru-Sridevi chemistry. They are both just really good actors, and you can't be disappointed if they're there. The songs were fine- my favourite was 'Arintidaka Atta Kodaka'. Oh, and 'Abbabba Ee Poddhu' is a copy of the 'A Aa Ee Oo Oo Oh' song from Raja

There was no one who could emote like Sridevi, and there never will be another like her. She took the most clichéd roles possible, roles that were such a slippery slope that in the hands of a less-talented actor, they would have been degraded into caricatures and parodies. But not with Sridevi. Take Sadma (1983), for example. Never for a moment did her portrayal of Reshmi feel like a mockery, and that made the ending so much more emotionally wrecking. Even Sheetal in Laadla started to feel like a proto-feminist icon because of the power that Sridevi brought with her. And that, my friends, is why Sridevi fans never stop being Sridevi fans, even the ones who were indoctrinated into becoming one. English Vinglish was the movie that made me realise just how special Sridevi is. I had grown up watching her movies, since my parents and elder brother were diehard fans- there was an unspoken rule in our house that every time Mr. India (1987) came on, it HAD TO BE viewed. But, despite loving Mr.

If only, IF ONLY, Sridevi had done the Telugu version ( Gharana Mogudu ) with Chiru. Or Chiru had done the Hindi version with her. I could only sit through Laadla because of Sridevi's powerful performance as Sheetal Jaitley, and my friend could only sit through Gharana Mogudu because of Chiranjeevi. To paraphrase Hannah Montana, we could have gotten the beeeeest of both worlds.  Anyway, one of the first things that pissed me off about this movie was the miserably unsuccessful recreation of the 'Bangaru Kodipetta' music video from Gharana Mogudu . I feel bad about judging Anil Kapoor, because Chiranjeevi garu is a legendary dancer, and there was no way he would be able to even come close to the iconic-ness of the OG. I think they should have just not attempted it- at least my mood wouldn't have turned sour in the beginning of the movie itself. I don't think I even have the mental capacity to delve into the class politics vs. misogyny discourse, so let me just sum it

Before you, the esteemed reader, start judging me for watching a movie titled Saajan Ki Baahon Mein , I want to reassure you that I have extensively questioned myself about my choices. The only explanation I can offer you is that I am in too deep in the TCU (Tabu Cinematic Universe for the uninitiated) vortex, and that's what's leading me into these dark corners of 90s Hindi cinema. And when I say dark, I mean it. No wonder this decade, especially its first half, is widely seen as one of the lowest periods of our dear Bollywood. The only saving grace was Tabu serving lewks. I'm telling you, 90s Tabu just hits different. Especially with the fashion!! But it's ALL downhill from here, my friends. First of all, WHY would anyone cast a visibly ageing Rishi Kapoor against Raveena Tandon and Tabu, both of whom were just beginning their careers? Nothing about these pairings makes any sense, and just makes you cringe multiple times as the movie "progresses" (I do not w

Say what you will, but 'Ankhiyon Se Goli Maare' will forever SLAP as one of the best songs ever.  Rewatched this one after a long time, and well, it was not the laugh riot that I remember it being- I have vivid memories of laughing my ass off while watching this movie is a kid. I mean, it's not like I sat stone faced and bored throughout the movie this time, there were moments that genuinely made me laugh out loud, but not on the same scale as before. It's comforting certainly- some might argue it hasn't aged well (it hasn't) but what can I say, a childhood is a childhood. I'm sorry I didn't consume enough intellectual stuff as a kid, and that a lot of my nostalgia is concentrated in being Bollywood trash. Dulhe Raja didn't leave me bored. It left me a bit frustrated though, mostly because of the bit where Raveena reveals her plan to Govinda on her birthday party, and the way he reacts. I'm personally sick of men being aggressively "possessi

So many of my favourites together!!! Tabu garu, you never fail to amaze. Manoj Bajpayee, you absolute beauty. Irrfan Khan, sigh. I guess it'll be sometime before I can watch a movie of his, and not feel as if my chest has been hollowed out. This was a typical masala flick- an idealistic middle class youth up against the big, bad world, full of corrupt policemen and evil gangsters. It's a genre that, when executed well, has proven to be extremely cathartic for me, even though I do mostly end up fast-forwarding through the violent scenes. Oh, that reminds me: trigger warning for police brutality.  Coming back to the movie, the one performance that stood out for me the most was Irrfan's. It's not as if other actors haven't tried to play the villain in a subtle way before, but when he does it, it's something else. Irrfan had (UGH) that rare ability to get inside the character's skin in such a way that you can't imagine anyone else doing that particular role.

This movie could not get anymore weirdly Bollywood, honestly. I mean, the ending? And the plot holes? I feel very confused about a lot of things, and of course there is no way to unravel these mysteries. Fuck this movie for fucking with my closure issues, UGH.  On the plus side, this is Riteish Deshmukh at his peak- he's so dramatically funny, and just the right amount of stupid and frustrated to be relatable. The dynamics between Riteish and Abhishek were lit (one cannot help wondering if the two bonded over having extremely successful fathers) and obviously much more entertaining than the chemistry between PC (yuck yuck double yuck) and AB. Abhishek, meanwhile, is charming as the conman who always aspired to be one since childhood- the kind of character you can't help rooting for. My favourite, though, has got to be Nana Patekar. There is a scene where he is literally worshipping his reflection in the mirror and that pretty much sums up the hilarity he brings to this movie. I

Trigger warning for rats. Again. Fuck my life. Also, I technically saw Ek Aur Himmatwala , the Hindi dubbed version. I really want to meet the people who provide titles for the Hindi dubbed versions- Venkatesh's 2002 movie Vasu has been dubbed into Hindi as Cheetah the Leopard and I see no chance of me ever getting over that.  As always, the phobia-induced anxiety didn't hit until after the movie was over, and I must say I'm glad for that. Obviously, I think the movie could have been more enjoyable had that rat not played such a pivotal role. That being said, the movie was actually very entertaining- great comic timing by Chiranjeevi (in a father-son double role, wow), and Sunil (as always). This was incidentally my first Chiru movie, and I am honestly excited for more. Tabu garu was grossly under-utilised, and mis-utlised (like L pointed out), but the 'Ammamma Nee Messam' music video kindaaaa makes up for it. Oh, judge me all you want, as if you have never had an i

Who knew that India got its first gay movie back in 1996??? Ugh, I was internally dying since the first song because of all the tension between Arun (Abbas) and Karthik (Vineeth). The word "palpable" was coined to describe it. And the word "intense". My god, I loved watching them together so much, I almost didn't miss Tabu, who by the way was serving looks constantly. As if she doesn't always, but I wanted to say it anyway. A.R. Rahman doesn't disappoint with the tunes, and now I'm gonna talk about the gay again, because it's my "review" and I CAN.  I knew this movie would fulfil my gay desires ever since I saw the 'Mustafa' video a few weeks back, but I had so not prepared for this. Kadhal Desam proves once and for all that raging heterosexuality equals aggressive homoerotic subtext. Also, there were way too many rainbows in this movie for it to not be gay. My favourite was the rainbow dupatta that Queen T wears (fashion icon!!

Daaavvvvvvvvvvuda, what a movie. A1 sibling representation- something that we so rarely get to see on screen. I loved how even after Lucky (Allu Arjun) realised that he truly loves his brother Ram (Shaam), and is "connected" to him, he continues to torture him, which I wholeheartedly respect. That's literally how sibling relationships work, and it's beautiful. My biggest complaint from the movie is the complete under-utilisation of Prakash Raj. I was lowkey waiting for a scene with him and Ravi Kishan; I can guarantee that this movie would have been a lot funnier had that scene materialised. Speaking of comedy, how can I not mention how brilliant, stupendous, FANTASTIC Allu Arjun's comic timing is??? Lucky's dramatics were not just rel8 max, but also endearingly entertaining. I only have one response to his reactions and dialogue delivery- DAAAVVVVVVUDA. I've said this before and I'll say it again- Allu Arjun is what Salman fans think Salman is, but ob

If there's one thing I can't stop thinking about after finishing this film, it's that Allu Arjun is a brilliant actor. And that I am probably gay for Anushka Shetty. And that Manoj Bajpayee rules in every language. Okay, so those are three things, not one, but in my defence, this movie gave me a lot to think about. Especially the thought that I should probably watch more Anushka movies, but I will restrict this "review" to mah feelz about this movie. Vedam is that rare Indian movie with mainstream actors that doesn't completely screw up the Muslim, the working class, and the sex worker protagonists. For that alone, it has stayed relevant even after 10 years, and deserves high praise. However, where they lost me was the whole "rock star" storyline- a friend's friend commented that it seems as if the director had just recently learned the definition of an "anthology", and honestly, it shows. The impulse to include the rebellious middle-cl

Trigger warning for rats. Lots of rats. (I feel triggered just writing that word, so you can guess how traumatised I am).  Man, I just wanna kiss Sriram Raghavan. On the forehead, because that's where his brain is. WHAT A BRAIN. How did he come up with this? I mean, I know this movie is an adaptation of many different things, including Sidney Sheldon's 1985 novel  If Tomorrow Comes , which I read way back in school (for the others, check Wikipedia, I haven't got all day); but the way Sriram directs, the way he assembles everything, it's beyond me. Jai Sriram TO ONE MAN ONLY (sorry bhakts, but it is what it is *middle finger emoji*).  Ek Hasina Thi was co-written by Sriram and Pooja Ladha Surti, which is probably why it is the feminist masterpiece that it is. Sarika Vartak (Urmila Matondkar) is just another ordinary working gal in Mumbai, living alone, dealing with creepy neighbours, consuming an unhealthy amount of Maggi. But all hell breaks loose when grade A asshole

My head is swimming with things to say about this movie, but I don't know where to begin. I think the songs will be a good place to start, so here we go. 'Chalte Chalte' is one of my favourite songs of all time- on some days, it is my favourite song ever. I can never get tired of listening to it, appreciating its music, its lyrics, its ending. Then there's 'Mausam Hai Ashiqana', which apart from being the biggest mood this lockdown season, is also the biggest mood for missing your sweet and lovely girlfriend in any season. Speaking of lockdown (I am so angsty about it, it's like teenage all over again honestly), 'Chalo Dildar Chalo' really be hitting different in 2020- need I say more than "zindagi khatam bhi ho jaaye magar, na kabhi khatam ho ulfat ka safar"? Who writes like this, my god? 'Najariya ki Maari' is another gem- and anyway, these are only 4 of my personal favourites from a soundtrack that is full of sheer brilliance.

This film works best when seen as a fanfic of one of the few Bollywood couples I ship- Kajol and Ajay Devgn. It has all the best tropes- they pretend to date to make her ex-fiancé jealous, they have to sleep in the same room because only one is available at the hotel, and most importantly, she is scared of flying, and the only time she doesn't completely freak out is when he's with her. I MEAN, god bless my poor heart. Plus, there are some bops in there too? Also, rom-coms with airport chase sequences >>>> I really miss these 90s clean Bollywood rom-coms, when they weren't trying too hard to be "modern" or whatever. So wholesome and enjoyable, especially when the lead pair has such amazing chemistry. I know I'm probably in a minority here, but Ajay-Kajol is a superior pairing to the the much celebrated SRK-Kajol. I find the latter a tad overrated because both of them have better chemistry with other actors. Sigh. Waiting for all the DDLJ stans