Seethamma Vakitlo Sirimalle Chettu (2013)

My favourite part of this movie was the fact that Mahesh Babu became a 1000x better actor every time he had a scene with Venkatesh. Doubtu ledu. Also, the chemistry between the lead pair (Venky and Mahesh, duh) was extraordinary- I mean, they legit had sexual tension after a scene in which they talked on the phone while in two different cities. How many of your OTPs can lay claim to that, huh? Huh? Thought so.

My least favourite part of the movie? The cringemax Venky-Seetha dynamics ugh. Also the fact that whoever wrote the dialogues has clearly never talked to a real woman before in his life. The way they did disservice to Sam here was infuriating, especially when she fully has the capability to out-act Mahesh. Just fucking smash patriarchy already. And heteronormativity, because what we need right now is a movie where Venky and MB are full-fledged lovers. I know you wanna, Trivikram. I know you wanna.

This movie contains a song that is basically the Telugu version of Meghan Trainor's nauseating masterpiece "Dear Future Husband", performed by Sam (I said disservice before, but it's actually injustice). Speaking of songs, all the songs in here were so passable and skippable. The only time the music came through was during the Mahesh-Venky scenes: so perfectly intense and romantic, and just what us shippers needed to get ourselves through this movie. It was also through this movie that I learnt that Prakash Raj is actually 5 years younger than Venkatesh, who plays his son in the movie. Oh god, I still don't know how to react to this fact, even though it's been 2 days since I enlightened myself of this (through my dearest Wikipedia of course). 

Before I forget: the director clearly has FEELINGS for Mahesh Babu, which has been projected onto alll the females in the movie who seemingly fall in love with him at first sight itself. Oh TFI, you with your raging heterosexuality can't make a fool out of ME (that was done years ago by my parents and the universe). 

In short, I pretty much hated everything in this movie (Mahesh Babu is peak thotti gang all day, but gets an interview at fucking Google), but the insane chemistry between the lead pair balances it out. That alone is enough for me to appreciate it. Also, the grandmother being a total mood. I bet she knew something was up between Mahesh and Venky, she seemed that sharp. Apart from all this, I don't see the point of the movie. What exactly were they trying to say? What was the conflict, what was the solution, what was the MEANING of it all? Was it made just so the director could play out his Mahesh Babu fantasies? (Yes.) Was it made as a sacrificial ritual to appease Derrida's soul? (Also yes.) (What was sacrificed, you ask? The braincells of everyone who saw the movie.) Was it made so that Bechdel test could finally retire? (Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.) 

Towards the end, I was impatiently wondering "Why is this movie not ending? What more could they possibly have to say?" And yes, I wanted to kill someone by that point, but the fact that it ends at a railway station with the two unable to say goodbye, and therefore having a satisfyingly cheesy moment (don't worry, no spoilers) was more than enough for me to be a diehard Venky-Mahesh shipper forever. And that's about that, I suppose. Just ignore all the women (you will have no choice but to do that) and focus on those two, and you will not regret it. Probably.

PS- Prakash Raj was such a serial killer. Thanks L, for giving me this wisdom.