Coolie No. 1 (2020)

Easily up there in the Top 5 Worst Films I Have Ever Seen. I watch-partied with 2 friends, and at one point, N & I were so done that we sent gifs on our group chat instead of trying to pay attention to the movie. Needless to say, those gifs were far more entertaining than anything that was going on in the movie. The few times we did zone back in, we realised that we really weren't missing out on anything (plus A was updating us anyway, an angel) so we just continued sending gifs and making each other laugh. We thought we would "roast-watch" this movie but the joke was on us- we couldn't even watch it.

Legends like Johnny Lever, Javed Jaffrey and Rajpal Yadav were completely wasted in this brain-rotting snooze fest. And as if that wasn't enough, Varun Dhawan and his potential to become a decent comedy actor were tragically under-utilised by the script. It was painful to watch him carry the entire movie on his shoulders, and I really wish that he refuses to make another remake with his father again. As for Sara Ali Khan, I really don't know what to say. I have only seen one other movie of hers, Kedarnath (2018) and I found her fine in it, nothing spectacular or anything. But she was so bad here, it made my head hurt. Her crying scenes made me cringe, and her romantic scenes made me feel nothing whatsoever. Her dancing was also very average, which just made the overall horrible experience of the movie's music even worse. Varun tried, but how much can the poor guy do? As for the music, I only really have two things to say. First of all, DO NOT AUTO TUNE ALKA YAGNIK. The second thing is dedicated to those blessed souls who still haven't heard a single song from this soundtrack- kindly continue keeping yourselves safe. 

This movie is a disgrace to the 90s. As someone who has a lot of affection in her heart for Bollywood, especially from that era, I feel personally insulted and offended. Kindly leave the past alone and try making some new stuff, Bollywood. We need era-appropriate masala movies more than ever, PLEASE GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER AND DELIVER. Now I must go and try to forget everything I had to dig up from my memory in order to write this "review". 

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