Lucky: No Time for Love (2005)

This might possibly be the worst movie ever made, and yes, I have seen Tommy Wiseau's The Room (2003). There was no point, no logic, absolutely NOTHING in this movie that could be considered redeemable. The songs, which I found decent prior to witnessing this absolute travesty, have been forever tainted by such in-depth knowledge of their source.

I am finding it hard to best express my rage and disgust in, but honestly, Salman Khan getting Aishwarya Rai's lookalike Sneha Ullal to play a SCHOOLGIRL is one of the most creepy things to come out of Bollywood. Especially after you realise that Salman was at least 2 decades older than Sneha when this movie was shot. The ending makes it all worse, and leaves one questioning why people appreciated this movie, and more importantly, why does Salman Khan still have a career? Why is he allowed to get away with stuff of this magnitude? Now, I know that, objectively, Bollywood is a great big fuckfest of all things creepy and disgusting. But even then, Salman Khan somehow manages to stand out, and I can't figure out why.

Anyway, back to the movie. Actually no. Never back to the movie. Salman jams to "Back in the USSR" by The Beatles, and I might never get over it. I WANTED TO JAM TO THAT SONG WHEN I FINALLY GET MY ASS TO RUSSIA. NOTHING BUT WHITE HOT HATRED FOR YOU SALMAN. Also, Sunaina was the only character I could have cared about, but no. No no no no no. This movie had to self-destruct. Also, why are we never told exactly how old Salman Khan's character is? Trying to save us from paedophilia? Well, too late for that. As Dr. Elliott Reid from the TV show Scrubs would have said, this movie was a giant double frick frick frickety frick. And that's all there is to that.

 Also, Saif Ali Khan should have played Lucky and that is the only thing that could have elevated this movie, and no I will not explain further. (thanks, R).


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