Krishna Cottage (2004)

Took a short break from my TCU adventures to watch a movie with the fam. Our first choice was Darna Mana Hai (2003) , but due to certain logistical considerations, we changed plans and ended up watching... this.

First of all, this is so not a horror movie- it's barely even a movie. "Special effects" make no sense whatsoever in the context, and seem to have been thrown in for no good reason except to appear "cool" and "modern". AS IF! The story is a convoluted mess, and after a certain point, I just gave up on keeping track of... whatever that was happening. So yeah, there was no chance in hell that I was getting scared- I was just not psychologically invested enough, and nor was the fam.

The only, only things that had me halfway invested in the movie were Shanti (Anita Hassanandini) being jealous, insecure and petty about her bae Manav (Sohail Khan) and Disha (Isha Koppikar) (major, major REL88888); and Akshay (Hiten Tejwani) always trying to start up some drama (spicyyy- not really). Halfway invested is actually generous. I am clutching at straws here.

Sohail Khan was so useless, both as the actor (not that I want to sully the noble art of acting by referring to him appearing on the screen as being an actor) and the character Manav, that I literally have no words. Nothing I say can come close to capturing the disdain I have for him. As for Disha, I would just like to repeat what I said last night- "Disha is just Isha chasing the D." And yes, that is the most succinct and accurate analysis of the movie you will ever find. You're welcome.

Also, I caught myself singing "Bepannah pyaar hai aaja" this morning, and immediately cursed Ekktaa Kappoorr for messing with my brain for years. That woman has war crimes on her hand, I swear to God.

However, I will say one good thing about this movie as I conclude- as R pointed out, Krishna Cottage was a palate cleanser for me, and has made me appreciate Tabassum Fatima Hashmi so much more. So thank you, everyone who was involved with this movie, for making me realise the sanctity of TCU.

PS- I'm so sure this fuckfest was made just to turn black money into white. Don't @ me.

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