Miss India (2020)

No amount of words, or even screaming for that matter, can measure up to the abject hatred I have for this movie. I actually live-reviewed it for my Instagram page, @/nocontexttelugu_ and I very nearly had another Internet meltdown. Literally nothing works in this movie except Rajendra Prasad, and spoiler alert but he dies very early on in the movie for me to consider him a saving grace. I was so numb by the end that I couldn't even react to the final victory for Keerthy's character. I just wanted it to end so that I could go for a long run and then cry in the shower. 

Of course, I am the only one to blame. My fault for choosing to watch a movie with such a shaky central premise. Even after my best friend predicted that I'd get a migraine (I still have it, by the way) if I watched it, even though literally every review said that this was a terrible movie by any objective standard, even though I knew about the bikini bit (Jagapathi Babu, the main rival to Keerthy's businesswoman dreams, comes up with a plan to have bikini-clad waitresses serve coffee), I still went ahead and watched this movie. Why? Because a small, innocent voice in my head told me- "It can't be that bad! Or maybe it's god tier and you'll actually have fun!!" OH WHAT A SWEET SUMMER CHILD I WAS. It was worse than the reviews made it out to be, and no, I had ZERO fun. And you know what? Till the last hour, I was actually looking for redeeming factors and thought that I'll include them in my "review", because hey, I am personally a huge fan of silver linings. Needless to say, all those "factors" have completely vanished from my head and have been replaced by a long drawn-out scream.

My only sincere request is to please ban men from writing a movie about women empowerment ever again. Keerthy's character was reduced to a superficial stereotype of the "Girl Boss" who is obsessed with becoming a businesswoman and introducing "chai" to USA. Sare. All the Indians that have been settling there since the 60s have apparently not been able to achieve this gigantic feat which requires a STRONG WOMAN WITH COURAGE CONVICTION AND DREAMS AND WHO WILL ALWAYS PUT HER CAREER FIRST NOT HER FAMILY OR LOVE OR ANYTHING ELSE ONLY CAREER BECAUSE SHE'S A STRONG STRONG WOMAN. Abba, fuck off. 

In conclusion, Keerthy deserved a better movie as a mass hero. Also, using the two heroes instead of two heroines was not subversion. Bye.

PS- needless to say, this movie will surely give me PT(ea)SD. Sorry, I just had to. 

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