Avishkaar (1974)

I feel so conflicted about what to feel about this movie- on one hand, I hate that they showed so much abuse and gaslighting by the man while still trying to act as if the marriage was breaking down because of miscommunications on both sides. But on the other, it is sadly a very faithful depiction of actual marriages and even relationships, where a lot is forgiven just because you once had a love, especially a love that you had to fight for. A lot of it hit very directly home, reflecting both my parents' marriage and my first relationship to varying degrees. 

Technically, the movie excels at bringing the stream of consciousness trope on screen, that too from two different people. Honestly, every transition felt like an attack on our emotions (I watch-partied with a friend), and we were so overwhelmed by their past wholesome love being cut by their present estrangement that we felt real messed up real quick. On top of it, both Sharmila Tagore and Rajesh Khanna are brilliant actors whose on-screen chemistry adds more fire to the proceedings. Present from the first frame to the last, Kaka reminds one why he is not just a legend, but an actual holder of a record that remains unbroken to this day. This movie is a slap on the face of the haters who say that he was mediocre at best, because he becomes Amar so effortlessly, and humanises him so well that even though you hate him, you can't forget that he is in fact a very real man and not just a character. Sharmila ma'am is gorgeous and just so fricking talented that I couldn't stop gushing over her and her character Mansi throughout the movie. Speaking of Mansi, I feel conflicted again- as much as I wanted her to leave Amar and start her own life, I have to admit that she is very realistically written. Most women do not leave their husbands despite the daily routine cycle of toxic behaviours, and I hate to bring in my personal baggage yet again, but Mansi is literally my mother. It took me years to accept my mother, after which I really can't hate Mansi or even dislike her for the choices she made. It's frustrating, but that's heterosexuality for you.

I really want to say that at best, this movie is an anti-marriage propaganda, but that raises the question that if Amar and Mansi hadn't married, what exactly would they have done? Did their love ever have a chance? I mean, of course Amar was a dickhead and responsible for the marriage breaking apart, but that doesn't make it any easier on Mansi either, does it? Where does she go from here? My god, this movie was made specifically just to fuck with my brain like this. Needless to say, I will be thinking about it for a long time. And also looking up other Sharmila-Rajesh movies because after this and Daag, I am hooked.